Only now I understand
How you have never been kind and never cared,
Only now I realize
How you despise me for always being there.
I see it clearly now -
The way you took me for granted,
And all the mockery and rudeness,
And your cruel, harsh laugh
When I tried to show you the golden city,
The city of white towers,
Beautiful in the pale starlight,
Stunning in the light of the day.
So, pitiful and useless were my lies,
And anyway I'm nothing in your life -
Because I love you too much,
Because I dread your indifference
At the sight of my open heart.