Translations of the Soviet black humour rhymes

Дмитрий Чеманков
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He came to play at a construction site.
The dump truck pulled up staying out of sight.
The concrete poured - no one could hear the shout.
A pair of shoes is lonely sticking out...

                * * *

The boy in a garden climbed on a tree.
The sharp-shooting guardman counted to three.
One single shot and the boy quickly fell.
The man sniffed the fumes: "How I do like this smell!"

                * * *

The boy on a roof's having fun chasing doves.
He is really fast and he loves what he does.
The roof isn't endless and boys cannot fly.
For staining the pavement his dad pays a fine...

                * * *

Kids in a basement were playing "GESTAPO"
Their victim was our local plumber Potapov.

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Girls in a meadow were gathering flowers.
Troops in the forest were drilling for hours.
Jessica turned... and a knife in her ass.
You won't be a model, beautiful Jess...

                * * *

The boy very deftly climbed on a ledge.
He stepped on its rickety, slippery edge.
Many bystanders admired his dive.
The boy could have lived an incredible life...

                * * *

Kids in a basement were playing "the Clinic".
No one survived cause the doctor was synic.

                * * *

The boy in a forest found a pistol -
Slightly decreased population of Bristol...

                * * *

Daughter was asking her mom for a sweet.
"Plug in your fingers and you'll get the treat!" -
Mother requested and daughter obeyed...
The guests by the table were laughing all day.

                * * *

The fidgety boy couldn't sit on his ass
And fell in a barrel that was full of gas.
He had almost struggled his way outside
As some drunken worker gave him a light...

                * * *

Fat greedy Billy snuck in a fridge.
The door smoothly shut with no squeak of the hinge.
Snot very quickly froze in his nose.
He didn't manage to finish the sauce.

                * * *

The boy in his backyard found a melon,
But that was an old rusty shell from a cannon.
He tried to eat it without delay -
His teeth have been found hundred acres away...


                * * *

The old man somewhere found a grenade
And went to the local Department of State.
He tossed the grenade once he came over there -
The man is so old and really don't care...

               
                * * *

The girl in a forest was gathering berries
And stepped on a mine cause she was very careless.
Well I was impressed to a certain degree
On seeing her beautiful eyes on a tree.

                * * *

A newsmaker's daughter found a grenade.
She came to her father and her father said:
"Go to the schoolyard and pull out the pin" -
Life has no zest with no news on the screen...

                * * *

Passionate lovers lay in the rye.
A harvester smoothly worked nearby.
No one expected the imminent threat.
Somebody found a bra in his bread...

                * * *

The boy full of pleasure swam in a lake.
A high voltage wire fell in his wake...
That was a sight of a colorful paint -
The boy on the water ran like the saint!

                * * *

Kids in a snowdrift were digging a cave.
The snowplough was driven by drunk driver Dave.
Nobody thought that there might be a threat...
People are guessing how snow can be red...


 

To be continued...