To Kate

Сима Радченко
I didn't want to spoil your day,
That's why I'm writing now.
I have so many things to say
But I don't know, how:(
I know I barely have a right
To bother you again.
I know we had the hardest fight
Which caused us lots of pain.
I only feel I can not cross
you out of my life.
I'm still aware of grief and loss
Which stab me like a knife.
And from myself I can not run -
It's like a price to pay...
I do not know what can be done
To fix all this some day.
I have a sense that we were doomed
To fight one day and part,
But every day you seem to loom
Deep down in my heart.

But, please, get all the gifts of life!
Be happy if you can!!!
Enjoy your days, just live and thrive
And never cry again!
I wish you'd had a healthy youth,
I wish you'd had more force!
I failed attempts your pain to soothe
And even made it worse.
I hate disturbing you, I swear,
but how can I pretend
That it is bearable to bear
unfriended dear friend?
And though we never could have met
And never had to split,
I do admit you truly meant
A lot for me, indeed.
I'm really sorry for the mess
of feelings, lines and words.
I hardly even can express
How strongly still it hurts.

The real thing - it's not a lie -
I wanted you to hear
's that even from the distance I
Remember, love and care.

11.09.2017