(A.S. Pushkin, translated from Russian)
Please, read this note - I'm so sorry
Words tell no more than they can tell
You can despise me for my folly
The way you choose; I know that well.
And yet, if suddenly this story
Makes you take pity on my lot
You won’t drop me on the spot.
I would have found a way to stop,
I would have made my shame lay low
And would have never let it show
If only I had had a hope
From time to time, just once a week
To see you move, to hear you speak
About things when you arrive
To our place, to talk to you
And then again wait for the new
Encounter, and to meet you strive.
Alas, no chance! They often say
That all alone you wish to rest,
And we don’t match you, anyway
Although you ‘re a welcome guest.
So why on earth should you have ever
Come to see us in our hole?
I wish to God that I had never
Experienced that ordeal at all.
The worries of the nomad soul
‘d have stopped my feelings to arouse
And quietly in my native land
I would have found a boyfriend
To be for him a faithful spouse.
Should any other man come near
His love for good to me propose
I would refuse, for I can hear
The will of Heaven: I am yours,
My life was like a path in gloom
For me at last to get this date;
You are my angel at the tomb
You are my dream, you are my fate;
I’ve dreamt of you, I've seen you coming
Unbodied, staring from above
Already calling for my love
Your voice resounding, so charming
Since long ago… I’m afraid
‘t was not a dream, you barely came
I knew ‘t was you, I caught a flame,
Astounded, and a sigh I made!
Is not it true? I heard for sure
You talking to me in my mind
Whenever I consoled the poor
Or prayed to let my heart endure
The yearning throbbing in my side.
Were not it you that very instant
Who sneaked like shadow, non-existent
To slide discreetly to’ds my bed
‘s if seeking to placate my passion
And, standing quietly at the head
With a desire and compassion
The words of hope in whisper said?
Are you a herald of salvation?
A demon sent to bring temptation?
Come on, whatever may befall,
Just tell me – is it but a whim,
Deception of a youthful soul
Entrapped into some other scheme?
Well, so be it! From now on
No use to whimper and deplore:
I give myself to you alone,
For your protection I implore…
Can you imagine: I am sole,
With no one understanding me,
So your response I need to see
Or victim to my madness fall.
You can save me, should you approach -
Revive my heart with hopeful light
Or kill my dream with a reproach,
Which, maybe, only serves me right!
That’s all. I’m scared to re-read
These shameful lines, no sense to edit…
But I am happy to proceed
Under the shelter of your credit.