×àðëüç Áóêîâñêè
äîãîâîð
"ÿ ïîçâîíèëà Ãàððè à îòâåòèëà åãî
ïîäðóæêà" - ñêàçàëà îíà, è ÿ ñïðîñèëà:
"ìîãó ÿ ïîãîâîðèòü ñ Ãàððè?"
à îíà ñêàçàëà: "Ãàððè ñåé÷àñ çäåñü
íåò."
è ìîÿ ïîäðóæêà ñêàçàëà: "õîðîøî,
ÿ ïîçâîíþ åìó ïîçæå."
à äåâóøêà Ãàððè ñêàçàëà:
"ñëóøàéòå, ÿ äóìàþ áóäåò ëó÷øå åñëè ÿ âàì
ñêàæó êîå-÷òî. Ãàððè
óìåð."
ìîÿ ïîäðóæêà è Ãàððè áûëè
ëþáîâíèêàìè. ó Ãàððè áûëî ñëàáîå ñåðäöå
è îí íå ìîã åãî âûëå÷èòü
íî ó íåãî áûëè äðóãèå
ñïîñîáû.
ïîòîì îíà ìíå ñêàçàëà:
"Ãàððè è ÿ çàêëþ÷èëè ìåæäó ñîáîé äîãîâîð:
ïîñëå ñìåðòè îí äîëæåí áûë
ñ òîãî ñâåòà âåðíóòüñÿ è
ïîäàòü ìíå ñèãíàë ÷òîá ïîäòâåðäèòü
÷òî åñòü æèçíü ïîñëå ñìåðòè.
ìîæåò áûòü ÿ äîëæíà ñêàçàòü òåáå
÷òî îí ïîïûòàåòñÿ ýòî ñäåëàòü."
"íåâàæíî" - ñêàçàë ÿ - "ÿ
â êóðñå."
ïîýòîìó íûí÷å êàæäîå óòðî êîãäà ìû
ïðîñûïàåìñÿ ÿ ñïðàøèâàþ ó íå¸: "íó, Ãàððè
ñäåëàë ýòî?"
ÿ ïåðåæèâàë âñþ íî÷ü.
ÿ âèæó ýòîò ÿçûê ÷òî â 400 ðàç äëèííåå
÷åì Ãèìàëàè ðâóùèé
ïîïîëàì ïîêðûâàëà
à òàê âñ¸ ÷òî ó ìåíÿ åñòü ýòî òîëüêî
òðåñíóâøèé ïîòîëîê
ñ îäíîé ñòîðîíû ðàêîâèíû
ïî ìíåíèþ àäâîêàòà.
ÿ âñåãäà ñòðàäàë áåññîííèöåé.
íàêîíåö-òî òåïåðü
ó ìåíÿ åñòü ÷òî-òî
÷òî ìîæíî æäàòü
êðîìå
óòðà.
From "Sifting Through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way"
02.05.19
Charles Bukowski
the pact
“I called up Harry and his girlfriend
answered,” she said, and I asked,
“can I speak to Harry?”
and she said, “Harry’s not here right
now.”
and my girlfriend said, “all right,
I’ll phone him back.”
and Harry’s girlfriend said,
“listen, I think I’d better tell you
something. Harry’s
dead.”
my girlfriend and Harry used to be
lovers. Harry had a bad heart
and he couldn’t get it up
but he had other
ways.
then she told me:
“Harry and I made a pact:
when he died he was supposed to
come back from the dead and
signal me to prove that there’s
life after death.
maybe I ought to tell you
what he’s going to
try to do.”
“never mind,” I said, “I
know.”
so each morning now when we
wake up I ask her, “well, did
Harry do it?”
I get worried at night.
I can see this tongue 400 times longer
than the Himalayas ripping the
bedspread in half
as I only have a cracked ceiling on the
halfshell for
counsel.
I’ve always had insomnia.
at last now I have something
to wait on
besides
morning.