for my ex-husband
How I wanted for you to be whole!
But I’m ‘nothing’, you said with disdain.
So, I’ve concluded: I was just a hole
with no rights even for pain.
Less than a chair, filling the space,
like a dustbin for filth of your words,
for your saliva, spat in my face,
with no right to tell how it hurts.
Throwing insults at me in your anger,
freely, without restraining, full gear,
they were designed to be like an anchor
holding me in submission and fear -
‘Ugliest specimen’, ‘lowest of low’,
and ‘the society’s total reject’ -
just for your sperm, as far as I know,
in my vagina sometimes to inject.
Yet, I’ve obtained my freedom and now,
cleansed by my Lord from the slanderous dirt,
I’m no longer a “moron”, a “cow”,
though, on occasions, such memory hurts.
You are forgiven, no longer an object
of my resentment or tears at night.
It may defy any reason or logic,
this not because you’re out of my sight.
Oh, how I wanted for you to be whole!
Rescued by Christ from realities grim,
I dedicate to the Saviour my soul,
Jesus can make me whole - for Him.
27.01.2012- 21.06.2019