A TRAP for a THOUGHT-FORM
a novel in the series
"PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY"
Chapter 19. POLARITIES' ASSOCIATIONS
“Hello, my Queen,” the Guardian greeted me with a smile.
“Hello, Guardian,” I said, piercing him with my eyes, but allowing to take my furs off and put them on a hanger.
“Is something wrong?” the Guardian asked, surprised at my icy gaze.
I wondered if I should ask him about the Doll and my paintings of the Girl with the Moon Cat, but I decided to refrain until I found out what “The Gloves” were about.
“Do you… like… cats?” I tried to shift the focus to the first thought that came to my mind.
“I don’t have to answer provocative questions,” the Guardian muttered grimly.
“And who do you love?”
The Guardian grabbed my arm and pulled me sharply to him.
“Don’t you still understand?”
“Dolls?” I supposed and thought, “Damn it broke out!”
The Guardian’s eyes flashed with a devilish gleam, he dragged me into one of the adjoining rooms, where the Portal was located, and threw me back against the fireplace.
“GET AWAY!!! I HATE YOU!!! HATE!!! GET IT?!!” shouted the Guardian, suddenly slid down the wall to the floor and… sobbed.
I wanted to come up and console him somehow, but the door opened and…
“MEOW?!”
I left, leaving them alone.
***
The author of the book “Associations of Apparent Polarities / Polarities of Apparent Associations” was a devilishly handsome genius, a real Werewolf in the uniform. While he was juggling words like apples from the Garden of Eden, the women in the hall rolled their eyes languidly, imagining him in their bed, and the men went out nervously to smoke in the Blizzard.
“I should try to go to the church in the morning and order the 40-days prayer for Pasha and for the Guardian. Firstly, to confirm that the church is real… Secondly, such prayers are the most powerful. There is no other way to help them. I should have ordered such prayer a long time ago! Right on the first night! We have 40 parties in the Mansion, and the monks pray 40 days along.”
Closer to the break, the Guardian returned to the hall. The Cat floated through the curtain and merged with the old black piano. For some reason, it seemed to me that the Cat periodically communicated with the Guardian in their own language.
“What connects them? The Mansion? Or something else?” I wondered.
“What else could it be?” I heard a painfully familiar voice.
“HELLO!!! I am so grateful to both God and you for your existence!!!”
Roman sat down at my table. The Guardian stood, as usual, in the opposite corner at the door. They both were watching me.
“Why, as you think, can’t we read the Guardian’s thoughts? By the way, in the Backstage…”
I send my thoughts to Roman about the Wanderer’s discoveries and announced the break. The women attacked the Werewolf, and the men huddled together in a pack of wolves and smashed the genius to smithereens. Oh, human envy!
“Do you understand anything?” I asked Roman, as I sat down next to him, placing his cup of coffee on the table.
“The Doll and your paintings, you mean? Or why does the Guardian love and hate you at the same time?”
“I mean in general, everything WRONG here, including that dresses. At best, they are for the Doll. The Guardian dresses her up and kills her, spilling the wine on the dress, then he hangs the dress in the wardrobe. After some time, he buys a new dress, and so it repeats in a circle. But let’s stop in the circle! The Guardian has known me for half a year only! Well, yes, he came to the Union of Writers in September. It turns out that the Guardian has already twenty, or thirty, or forty times — how many dresses are there? I wish I counted them! — killed the Doll in six months, which we didn’t communicate at all! WHAT FOR?”
Roman didn’t answer, finishing his coffee and, perhaps, thinking about something so deeply that I no longer caught his thoughts.
“Don’t you care?” I asked, being offended.
Roman put his arms around me and pulled me close.
“I just wish you lived…”
“The verb ‘wish’, ” I hugged Roman, quoting him, “requires the Past tense.”
“Sorry! Live, Alice!” he stroked my head and asked, “What did you draw in your Happy Universe?”
I wanted to say, “You”, however, driven by fear, I replaced it with “Love” and, of course, I didn’t dare asking, “And you?”
Roman, of course, read everything, including “You” and “Love”, as well as “And you?”. He read my thoughts. And, perhaps, he read them in a circle, there, in his other world, beyond the Blizzard that separated us, and mentally returned to each of our nights, plunging into the gothic and magical atmosphere of the gloomy Mansion with the Impurities, gathering in it.
Perhaps, re-reading my thoughts countless times, Roman tried to find among them something else, that even I didn’t realize myself, or to change the wrong ones…
However, returning to the “here and now”, he just asked aloud,
“Shall we finally write the Wish Program?”
“Yes, we’ll write it today to launch it tomorrow.”
Task No. 19. REVISION of WISHES
…The Wish Program usually consists of 12 wishes, one for each of the 12 spheres of life, the conventional division of which is defined as follows:
1. “my-Self”, personality.
2. material values, money, nutrition.
3. close contacts, brothers and sisters, school and basic education and knowledge, traveling at close distances, transport, commerce, sphere of mind and word, literature and speech abilities, writing literary works.
4. Motherland and family, home, real estate, land, agriculture, gardening.
5. love, children, creativity, stage, hobbies, sports, gambling.
6. job, health, pets.
7. marriage partners, business partners, enemies you know.
8. extreme situations, cardinal transformation, sex, magic, death, inheritance issues, someone else’s big capital, partners’ money.
9. spiritual path and teachers, everything abroad, foreigners, foreign languages, higher education and universities, publishing houses, books.
10. career, status, recognition, superiors and bosses.
11. groups of like-minded people, associations, unions, acquaintances with common interests, holdings, Internet and other new technologies, everything related to the concept of “Future” and “Tomorrow”, including desires, dreams, hopes.
12. backstage, everything behind the scenes — secrets, mysteries, secret enemies, backstage games; solitude — emigration, isolation, islands, monasteries, hospitals, prisons and analogues.
…Write for each area, or for the more important to you, what you want to achieve as a statement, without the negative “not”. Specify the deadline — till which date your wish is relevant.
WISHES COME TRUE
UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS
There are two fundamental ones:
1. The wish should be your own (not someone else’s, for example, the desire to become a pianist in spite of your mother, who sees you as a brilliant violinist, meanwhile you yourself dream of a flute).
2. The fulfillment of one wish should conflict neither with the fulfillment of another one, nor with your subconscious desire / unwillingness of something even unwritten in the Wish Program.
CHECKING WISHES before LAUNCHING
One of the ways to check your wishes for conflicts is to play the game “Dig yourself up”. After compiling the Wishing List and always at night, when the door to the Subconscious is ajar, take a sheet of paper, and:
* on the one side write down everything you love in this world — seasons, objects, animals, activities, types of people, hobbies, time of day, numbers, signs, symbols, colors… It doesn’t matter what and in what order (however, what is remembered later is more important, since the primary programs hidden at the very bottom of the Subconscious are stronger than all the subsequent ones);
* on the other side write down everything you don’t like.
In the morning, with a fresh mind, re-read carefully to see if there are any hidden contradictions between “I love” and “I don’t like”, and then check up your Wishing List with “I love” / “I don’t like”.
So, a contract to work in Norway is more likely to be won by someone who is fond of blizzards. And the Subconscious of a girl who doesn’t like cooking will resist in every possible way her acquaintances with the prospect of marriage.
The conflict between Conscious and Subconscious causes a simultaneous feeling of “attraction and repulsion”, which in the most extreme cases can lead to serious illness and madness.
The bell rang, the break was over.
Appearing as if out of nowhere, the King of Swords asked his famous question about “walking me home in the Blizzard”. Having forgotten that I had already answered him “no” once, for some reason, I answered “yes”.
Roman looked at me sadly, and I caught myself thinking that my “yes” was NOT MY wish!
***
“Alice djan… I don’t even know how to tell you…”
“Oh, Wanderer! Did you find a story about gloves? And is there …a murder in it?”
“No… but maybe I understand nothing!”
“Please, tell me your opinion! I’ll take your words for a version of interpretation. I won’t reproach you for anything!”
“Okay, Alice djan… This is a story about a father-writer and his secret daughter…”
“AND…?”
“The writer doesn’t know that she is his daughter, and something forbidden happens between them… I hope you understand what this story is about…”
“All geniuses are crazy!” I immediately remembered. “Stop… What does it have to do with me?!”
Already falling asleep, I clearly formulated and fixed in my Consciousness the idea of waking up in the morning to go to church for ordering a 40-days prayer.