Nothing in me is alive
I stand upon my lies.
Congregation is built,
My suffing is beyond my guilt.
I’d like to listen to sanity
But it’s hard when you are brain dead.
I used to be cautious
Now I play Russian roulette.
Absurdity of my decisions
Heal my pain.
I know it’s temporary
I know my pain won’t go away.
My pert attempt to reach the star
Burned to ashes.
You don’t need to know all
I’ll protect you from truth.
I am not a liar,
I just don’t want you to be confused.
Flash dies
Soul rises
Agony of love brings fire.
Dreadful desire pulling me in.
I know my obsession is not the same as my dream.
Inner pleasure is doubled-faced,
I am under
I am my own mesiah.
Pierce my veins,
Dip fin into worm ink.
Revelation dripping and drooling from my lips.
Finally there
My ink-pot dried.
I am not scared,
We all get ashamed of our lives...
November 24, 1996
wrt: Andrey Prudnikov