Life.
What is life? A fight for living
Or enjoying of exist?
What is life? A search of lover
Or to born new life a wish?
What is life? A new experience
Recollection old past life?
What is life? Suffering various
And a fear that we will die?
What is life? Answer the question!
I’m slightly going mad…
It’s no answers, just suggestions…
Fire is burning in my head.
I’m trying to stop thinking,
I’m trying to fall asleep…
What is dream? And I continue
Going mad more deep and deep…
***
Bitter moon.
I realized we see the same
When bitter moon is over us,
Remaining you about flame,
Remaining me about past.
All-seeing eye of bitter moon
Will whisper you about me
And you will fill the deepest gloom
Please, don’t regret about it.
All-seeing eye of bitter moon
Will whisper that my life is loose,
And I will see your deepest gloom
In the silent water’s smooth
Remember, I resolved to leave,
When we’re at the peak of fire.
Because I wanted to believe
That will not die intense desire.
All-seeing eye of bitter moon
Will whisper you about me
And you will fill the deepest gloom
Please, don’t regret about it.
All-seeing eye of bitter moon
Will whisper that my life is loose,
And I will see your deepest gloom
In the silent water’s smooth
It is better right now, under moon
In the loneliness thinking of us
Than together wallow in a slough
In musty slough without a blaze.
***
Do you want to know me, baby?
Look at my arms, which bandage by past.
Do you want to know me better?
Look at my eyes, which still like a child's.
Close your eyes
And listen to my voice,
Feel all my pain,
You still have a choice...
You are running from me, my baby...
Are you afraid of my darkness, maybe?
Do you want to understand my soul deeply?
Give me your hand and wipe scanty tears.
Do you want to understand my soul, really?
Touch my stone heart...You are so near...
Close your eyes
And listen to my voice,
Feel all my pain,
You still have a choice...
You are running from me, my baby...
Are you afraid of my darkness, maybe?
***
Siberia.
Look around, snow is everywhere,
It sheltered cities, houses, souls.
You seat abandoned, softly praying
Among this endless cruel snow…
Sticky apathy to life is all around,
I hear your groan that runs away.
You stay alone in lifeless crowd,
You want to see my fire this hard day.
You need to hear my laughter, sense my passion,
You want to find alive among a numbness here.
And if you want to know my heart’s reflection,
Look at the blinking snow of my grey hair.
Snow of my gray hair, Snow of my devotions.
Snow is everywhere… Snow of my emotions.
***
Seagull.
I want to take your hand,
To wander on the desert sand,
I want that surf will cover our feet with water.
You need to close your eyes,
Just listen silence… you and I,
And only seagull goes around in the lofty sky…
Do you hear it's heart-rending shout from the sky?
Look, it is just baby bird… It tries to learn to fly…
It’s afraid of disappear in the dark sea gulf.
It’s afraid of boundless freedom of its flight.
It dreads to spread small wings,
It dreads to spread small wings,
You know… It seems to me sometimes,
That you are looking like this bird…
I want to take your hand,
To lend you helping friendly hand.
I want to show you what does total freedom mean,
Freedom is without love,
When you are free, you aren’t slave.
Look, we are going and little footsteps rub away…
Do you hear it's heart-rending shout from the sky?
Look, it is just baby bird… It tries to learn to fly…
It’s afraid of disappear in the dark sea gulf.
It’s afraid of boundless freedom of its flight.
It dreads to spread small wings,
It dreads to spread small wings,
You know… It seems to me sometimes,
That you are looking like this bird…
Try to be free and your footsteps won’t disappear…
***
Sex is just a game,
It hasn’t a drop of sacred.
Yesterday you were my flame,
Yesterday I was an actor.
Sex is just one night,
We didn’t know each other.
Sticky boredom is in my life,
It lashes my feelings rather.
Sex is just a game…
I lost this game…so sorrow,
Yesterday you were my flame,
Please, be my flame tomorrow!
***
You are the grey lonely wolf
Howls under full moon.
You don’t know any rules
You will die in the dark soon.
You are the black raven,
I am just a little crow…
You are free, I am saving
Under my mother’s wind-wall…
At the midnight I am hearing your wail.
At the midnight I am sitting alone,
Behind my windows is going strong rain,
Nobody calling me on the phone…
Sun is shining and morning had come,
I am flitting from flower to flower,
You can see me again and again,
Cause I am a butterfly for an hour.
***
To my dearest grandmother…
You look at me from dark blue sky
My gentle lonely friend
You took my hand and closed your eyes
I saw – It was the end…
Where are you now? What do you do?
Send me a little sign.
I sing to you, I pray for you…
But don’t believe in God…
I stay with flowers in my hands,
You know, I haven’t tears.
Your home is grave, my dear friend…
One day I will be there…
Where are you now? What do you do?
Send me a little sign.
I sing to you, I pray for you…
But don’t believe in God…
I stay and listen to your voice
Through chilling wind around,
Through icy wind I hear your thoughts
Your thoughts from underground
Where are you now? What do you do?
Send me a little sign.
I sing to you, I pray for you…
But don’t believe in God…
I need to go and in the end
I want to say to you
Please, rest in peace, my lovely friend,
I’ll always be with you.
***
I fall asleep again and close my eyes,
I see a million pictures, crying shame.
Around me are groans, voices, tears
Incinerate my soul in hellish flame.
There are a lot of lost days,
There are a lot of lost years,
There are a lot of severe words,
There are a lot of wrong ways,
I wish forgot silly thoughts,
Which I recollect by my scars.
I feed my na;ve hopes on my tomorrow,
But understand – tomorrow will not be,
Sufferings sucked me up, my baby, sorry…
Only severe grey week-days stay with me.
There are a lot of lost days,
There are a lot of lost years,
There are a lot of severe words,
There are a lot of wrong ways,
I wish forgot silly thoughts,
Which I recollect by my scars.