Я рыбам отослал приказ:
"Хочу всего, и чтоб сейчас."
Морская отвечала рыба:
"Сэр, это невозможно, ибо..."
Я передал приказ вторично
С пометкой "Вздор! Проверю лично."
От рыб тотчас пришел ответ:
"Не беспокойтесь! Спешки нет."
Сказал им раз, сказал им два -
Да что за глупая плотва!
Я покажу, кто здесь начальник -
Подать мне самый новый чайник!
Воды туда, по самый нос!
Я им тут босс или не босс?
Но тут гонец принес доклад:
Мол, так и так, все рыбы спят.
Я встрял, внушителен и гибок:
"Немедля разбудите рыбок!"
Я излагал легко и твердо -
Лицом к лицу. Приватно. В морду.
Гонец был горд и нравом крут:
"Я не люблю, когда орут."
Гонец был крут и нравом горд:
"Я разбужу их, если..."
Черт!
Я взял из шкафа том "Муму".
Опять придется самому...
Чу! Дверь закрыта на замок!
Я скреб и бил, как только мог -
Закрыта дверь! На все замки!
Тут я нажал на ручку, и...
-------------------------------
* * * (Lewis Carroll)
I sent a message to the fish:
I told them "This is what I wish."
The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.
The little fishes' answer was
"We cannot do it, Sir, because --"'
I sent to them again to say
"It will be better to obey."
The fishes answered, with a grin,
"Why, what a temper you are in!"
I told them once, I told them twice:
They would not listen to advice.
I took a kettle large and new,
Fit for the deed I had to do.
My heart went hop, my heart went thump:
I filled the kettle at the pump.
Then some one came to me and said
"The little fishes are in bed."
I said to him, I said it plain,
"Then you must wake them up again."
I said it very loud and clear:
I went and shouted in his ear.'
But he was very stiff and proud:
He said, "You needn't shout so loud!"
And he was very proud and stiff:
He said "I'd go and wake them, if --"
I took a corkscrew from the shelf:
I went to wake them up myself.
And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked.
And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but--'