Жил да был один старик,
Жил, как все и каждый,
Кто от женщины рожден
Был на свет однажды.
Был когда-то, вам скажу,
Он совсем ребенок,
Но со временем подрос,
Повзрослел с пеленок.
Мяса требовал, когда
Голоден бывал он,
И проглатывал всё то,
Что в рот попадало.
Если пить хотел, то жбан
Хоть какого пойла
Мигом весь в себя вливал
Прямо через горло.
Редко видел он во тьме
Непроглядной ночи,
Слух же даже в темноте
У него был волчий.
Говорят, что днем не спал,
Бодр был будьте-нате,
Но тотчас же засыпал
У себя в кровати.
Шевелил он языком,
Говоря словами,
Ноги двигал, если шел,
В такт махал руками.
Надорвете животы -
Если он шагает,
То одна нога вперед,
То – вперед другая.
Говорят, его лицо
Было очень странным,
Если он его не мыл,
То бывало грязным.
Усмехался – ряд зубов
Рисовался чётко,
Рот – межою отделял
Нос от подбородка.
Надо речку перейти,
Но, не зная броду,
Этот малый никогда
Не совался в воду.
Ни за что не рисковал,
Не оставил сушу,
Не тонул, цепляясь за
Гибнующую душу.
Но однажды, говорят,
Вдруг почуял слабость
И, как хроники гласят,
Стала жизнь не в радость.
Несмотря на то, что слаб,
Твёрд был в убежденье
И коварным докторам
Не платил ни пенни.
Смерть в конце концов пришла,
Если верить слухам,
От того, что, верь-не верь,
Испустил свой дух он.
Пусть покоится в земле
Тлен его угасший.
Жил бы на день дольше он,
Был бы на день старше.
THE WONDERFUL OLD MAN
There was an old man
Who lived in a common
And, if fame speaks true,
He was born of a woman.
Perhaps you will laugh,
But for truth I've been told
He once was an infant
Tho' age made him old.
Whene'er he was hungry
He longed for some meat;
And if he could get it
'T was said he would eat.
When thirsty he'd drink
If you gave him a pot,
And what he drank mostly
Ran down his throat.
He seldom or never
Could see without light,
And yet I've been told he
Could hear in the night.
He has oft be awake
In the daytime, 't is said,
And has fallen asleep
As he lay in his bed.
'T is reported his tongue
Always moved when he talk'd,
And he stirred both his arms
And his legs when he walk'd;
And his gait was so odd
Had you seen him you'd burst,
For one leg or t' other
Woukd always be first.
His face was the drollest
That ever was seen,
For if 't was not washed
It seldom was clean;
His teeth he expos'd when
He happened to grin,
And his mouth stood across
'Twixt his nose and his chin.
When his whimsical chap
Had a river to pass,
If he could n't get over
He stayed where he was.
'T is said he ne'er ventured
To quit the dry ground,
Yet so great was his luck
He never was drowned.
At last he fell sick,
As old chronicles tell,
And then, as folks say,
He was not very well.
But what was as strange
In so weak a condition,
As he coukd not give fees
He could get no physician.
What wonder he died!
Yet 't is said that his death
Was occasioned at last
By the loss of his breath.
But oeace to his bones
Which in ashes now moulder.
Had he lived a day longer
He 'd have been a day older.
ANONYMOUS.