There was a time I knew a guy,
He never wore a sack or tie.
The coolest rapper in my block
Sometimes he used to sing some rock.
I liked his jeans and “Reebok” cap,
His crazy moves by rhythmic rap.
One day he talked to me: Oh, man!
That time I was his biggest fan!
But then I took his phone from Ann
And found out his name was Dan.
One Sunday I just gave a call
And talked to Danny after all.
We spread some “gossip” in the end,
I knew he was my coolest friend!!!
The crazy story of his life,
Was sharper than a silver knife.
I’m here to share it with you,
Believe me, folk, it’s wise and true!
“It was a warm and sunny day
As Danny went to school in May.
He sent his homework out to hell
Because he never studied well.
His teachers used to yell and fart,
But Danny never became smart.
His biggest problem was in fact
Those nasty hormones born to act.
“Why sitting in that smelly room?
My desk-mate is a silly broom!
When Mrs. Math enters the class
And opens up her smelly mouth,
I’d die to get a chance to run
Outside this hell and have some fun!”
One day his hormones struck him bad,
The dizziness rose to his head.
He thought: «I need a girlfriend soon,
To tell her stories about moon
And clouds that fly around the sun,
But how to know that she’s the one?”
There was a girl sitting behind,
She was so cute and sweet and kind.
Her face was pleasant, eyes were blue,
She had some freckles, just a few.
I can’t recall her breasts at all,
I guess they were so pink and small.
And Danny used to call her Bonny,
But, man, she wasn’t far that horny.
Though Danny thought: “ I’ll give a try”
But Bonne’s brains were not that dry.
She wished to have a pure love,
When stars are falling from above.
And finally she had no clue
There was some sex on terra, too.
‘Cause Bonny studied like a freak,
Discovered comps and rough technique.
It happened during a small brake
When Danny went to play some “Quake”,
And laughing much while he played,
He noticed that he had delayed.
Oh, God, he ran to school like mad,
Because he knew they’d treat him bad,
The girls would mock at him like geese
And guys would also scream and tease.
But entering the building’s hall
He stumbled then upon a ball,
And fell over an apple knot,
Some kids were laughing—he was not!
He was ashamed and wished to die:
“—Oh, God, why did it happen? Why?”
He rose his head a bit with fear
And then SHE was meant to appear.
He gaped like silly in surprise
That girl was treasure to his eyes!
Her body was so prefect, tasty
And Laura told her name was Daisy.
As she was licking then her lips
And moving fine her sexy hips,
Her bud was round as a peach
Revealed the world she was a bitch.
But Danny felt that he was crazy
About this marmalade named Daisy.
Her breasts were jumping up so well.
It’s silicon that made them swell.
Then she passed by and blinked with charm
Dan’s tongue was dryer than a plum.
Some organs on his body changed,
His pants had to be well arranged.
He slowly moved towards his class,
But Daisy was his hormones’ chance.
He didn’t know that Daisy had
A super bowl-empty head.
So Dan decided what to do,
He wanted then to taste the two:
The first with books and info-tests,
The second with enormous breasts.
He organized a double date
And let his heart on waves of fate.
You’ll never guess what happened then,
With “extra-IQed” Dexter Dan…
Yeah, let me tell you what he did,
His nasty hormones did succeed.
But not with Daisy, nor with Bonny
But with his silly neighbor Money.
‘Cause Bonny was so smart, with books,
A bit too clumsy by her looks,
And total zero when in bed,
No sex, no passion—like a dead.
Then Daisy with her super breasts,
Who never heard of math and tests.
Afraid to read and even think
She was afraid her bud would shrink!
Her doctor told her:”-Sorry dear,
Your swellings soon will disappear.
If you will go on being “wise”,
Just drinking pills and “helping” guys.
So Danny went out for that date,
Nor with the bomb, nor with his mate.
His date was special, I must say
Money’s place was their stay.
You can guess what happened there,
Socks were flying in the air.
Pants were scattered on the floor,
Money shouted: ”I want more!!!”
Hormones smiled with fair reason,
It was crowded in Dan’s prison.
Freedom is the best solution
Not just hormones’ revolution.
This small fable has a moral,
If your hormones fight and quarrel,
Then check out your pimpled looks,
Throw away your comps and books,
And forget about your tests,
Also spit on faked breasts.
Modern toys are now in fashion,
They preserve from procreation.
If you’re craving to relax,
Take your time and have some sex.
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