/ To H. Wagner /
“ON THE EVIL OF HYPOCRITIC SENSUALISM CALLED LOVE”
Hypocrisy calls the Betrayal - Love:
Oh, that's so much deserv^ed thing
Should be for those done, who once betray;
They dream the skies, the magic flowers,
They blossom with the myth of Soul's cry;
On images, they grow, of the many tears and sighs,
And pictures of the dying, and the darker times,
And all repentances, and all the noble trials. -
Why, think we, they should have the alib[ai]
To sympathize with such the all-dramatic paradise,
But staying quite aside? Far praying? Eyeing
Someone’s broken life…time they betray?
Why this so far delight (of them) should be denied
By their poor victims as like somewhat.., ai,
Those ne’er call…Love? – No! Love – nor dryer,
Nor less madder suicidal torture, agon[ai] –
Especially should be the fortune of their Lie;
On other side of very word of such a lifelight,
They’ve necessarily got to have this soul’s flight,
In very unabstractive time of their harder tryings:
And all that very real self-destructive pride
Of being blind to recognize no life, no light
In ethereal vainest promise from the mirror’s side;
And all those Don-Ballot's and all de Merteuil-like,
Ahh.., saddest prayers, and poor Judas’ crucifying
And that hell-doubling Teufel’ loving-killing stile,
And Lagerkvist dream’s drama-done eroticism;
That mystically beautiful portrayal, darkest curtains,
Fingers yellow-dyed, oh, even hopelessly torn tights
In abyss of the lonely hours; all Salammbo’s scenarios;
Forbidden sicken Thais; karmically done Underpants; -
Oh, powerless feasts of spiritual bankrupt relied
Onto his greedy spying eyes – those moral winners
Losing their own master pride; - disasterous Solaris
Of the hypocritic heart and mind; - how right
That should be done upon’em all like…yes, like love, -
Ah, everything they call to be that dream^ed Love! -
Love, which they’ve only learnt in someone’s eyes
So full of the unhappy tears, and which deserved
Much to become the true embodiment of dreams
They ever exhorcize! The Love them-monsterize:
The thief, the horror, the abuse, and the terrific lust, -
All the bad ways, through hell of which they dream
To be the first, not last; - truth learnt by the good of us
Consequently will say just: -
“Ai, you ^do betray - ^you love.”
/ 31.01.2013 – 03.02.2012 Moscow /