I like to solve everyday problems - it can be as exciting as chemical formulas or math theorems. There is one problem, though, which I can't ever solve. And I don't know anybody who can. The whole humanity actually is working on it lately a lot. I am talking about our eternal destiny.
I don't like funerals and never attended one. In this sense I understand well Marlene Dietrich, who didn't come to the funeral of her husband. Her alienated daughter Riva described in the biography of her mother how Marlene escaped when one of her lovers died in bed. Marlene certainly wasn't a coward, but her angst made her outrageously rational.
I feel ashamed to be around dying people. Ashamed that I can't do anything to stop this devastating process. Ashamed of my health and my happy years ahead. For the same reason I can't stay in hospitals for more than a few minutes visiting or for my own tests. Friends know me as the most compassionate person - I just express it differently. If I can change something to the better - I do right away. However, watching people who are approaching inevitable is not for my nerves.
I studied herbs and love this part of medicine, yet touching wounds or using scalpel isn't in my expertise. My tool is word. While you have a convinsing attachment to life, I am here with you. TVM 2013