http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36U4ez7AzKA
it is so much harder to loose alive person..
dead is dead,
sooner or later you accept it.
but if the person still lives,
you always keep hoping those moments will be back one day..
your brain tells you should move on,
you know you have to.
you know there's no happy ending.
but your heart is with her
and all you think is about her.
you still worry if she kissed someone.
you still worry she will be with someone else..
today, maybe tomorrow..
you can't stand someone else hugging her.
you still worry you will be without such person whole your life.
such a beautiful girl,
such a beautiful soul.
you still care.
you still love her.
it is so hard to rip out someone you truly love from your heart.
it is so hard..
and you start praying to god,
that you don't believe in.
to relieve all the pain.
until then, you're just a dead walking body.