I have nearly forgotten my handwrite and pens
Light emitting diodes are blushing my face.
In the dark none of shadows is seen in advance
But my shade is the one – you can see at the place
I am umbered with smoke; brains are blurred – never mind
Downers eat me, oblivion being so close.
I’m ahead of myself in the dead of the night
Pills have swallowed me all – and enough of its dose.
I returned to my being that ever died off
I have nearly forgotten what man I was then
For these moments I’m feeling how I’m taking off
I’ll have fallen once more by the morning again.
Tried to crawl and I crawled up to light,
But the light is beginning to turn into shades
Right or left to be chosen. I hate to decide
What a card should I drag – this must be king of spades.
No one tried to propose me some light when I smoked
Shades were hovering, howling with anger around
There was something that made me feel like I was locked
In the cells with the walls built of my own doubt.
I was sitting, was falling asleep – and woke up,
There was no one beside. If it be ghosts they’d scream.
Thoughts were ending another available lap,
They were all of oblivion – I banished my dream.
16.05.2006.