Midnight kept creeping towards my side,
I’m feeling like I’m losing my mind…
Peaceful and easy, a little upset…
I'm clutching, so dizzy..
I need to reset…
I don’t think I ever thought that I would
Write this in English,
However, I could
Chase out my fears, and let it all go…
Friend, did you teach me to go with the flow?
This is the first time I’m writing to you,
Why do you think this is what I would do?
Traceless and empty I’ll flutter through life,
Friend, do you think I could find that drive?...
Rivals and friends, my comrades and fears,
Teas, books, and leafs of this fall that will yield
Emptiness and something so full inside…
Friend, do you think I’m scared of a lie?
I have been emptier, but now I am free.
Friend, tell me more,
Who are you to me?
Why do you think
I just want to cry?
Friend, I don’t want to be lied to! Deny!
Why am I feeling, like I’ve been so drunk;
What’s more fulfilling than being a punk?
Friend,
Now, I’m finally feeling my pain,
Only for this time,
while I am insane…
Friend,
didn’t you see, I’m so fake…
I’ve managed to fool my own self by mistake…
Friend,
Tears just keep running down my face,
I thought I couldn’t be more amazed…
I never felt
so worthless before.
Friend, why did I open this door?..
“Cowardice is one of the worst of all sins”,
I know I was coward to not try to win…
I just gave up all my hopes, all my dreams
Because I was coward to the extreme.
And now I’m just sitting in front of the screen.
I was much more genuine when I was eighteen.
To punish myself I would cut off my hair.
I’d start with that action, but later – beware…
I hate to be thinking: I’ve lost so much time!
You’d say that I’ve almost committed a crime!
Because all that time I could’ve been free,
Oh well,
now it’s just history.
Oh, Friend! It’s not fair to be like myself.
I’d rather be written – a book on the shelf.
So listen to this – now I’m most of the true.
I’m honest. Of all, I am speaking to you.