Моя рецензия:
Здравствуйте,Александр!
Вы у меня в Избранных. И мне нравятся некоторые Ваши стихи тем,что они бывают совершенно непохожими на своих соседей в Вашем же ряду. Как будто вырвался в тёмной комнате солнечный зайчик на свободу...Но иногда мне кажется,что Вы не решаетесь поставить последнюю точку и привносите в текст те формулировки,которые заставляют меня задать себе вопрос: а почему бы не сказать по-другому,очертив предельно ясно для читателя идею,смысл и действия участников процесса.Исходя из этого я в своей рецензии поставил несколько другие акценты...К примеру,в последнем четверостишии Вашего стихотворения я указал,что жизнь-она продолжается и будет продолжаться даже после нас,проходящих по хребтине моста...И что мосты,как сообщество,как образ свидетеля проходящих (в фигуральном смысле) человеческих судеб,будут хранить память и вспоминать о нас,слабых и недолговечных. Но построивших эти самые мосты.Моя оценка Вашему произведению-понравилось.И с Вашего разрешения я предложу Ваше стихотворение с моими поправками широкому кругу читателей.Мне хочется,чтобы к Вам приходили чаще...Поскольку в большинстве своём на разную дребедень других авторов иногда дают сотни хвалебных рецензий,а в Вашем случае чаще всего отмалчиваются.А это неправильно. С уважением,Павел.
Мы с тобою не просто на реках мосты,
Хоть и спины свои гнём на сваях...
Шёпот вод-это ноша и наши кресты,
Каждый день под него засыпаем!
Высимся,тянемся в стороны разные,
Берегу берег собою доверив...
Сталью-орнаментом намертво связаны,
Времени вехи собою отмерив!
И над водою зависнув,прокинувшись,
Обречены быть навеки свидетелем:
Как заплетает в свою паутину жизнь
Все злодеяния и добродетели
Всех,кто по нашей проходит хребтине
В мир этот,только на миг приходящих…
Мы же – мосты. И под нами не стынет
Шёпот грядущих, былых, настоящих!
Рецензии
Зацепило, здорово!
Студентка Аня 12.05.2014 17:14
Добавить замечания
Я рад,Аня,спасибо!
Павел Горбунов 17.05.2014 03:10
Mala Reubin RE: Finance for Mr.P.Gorbunov's Investment
North Shore Auckland
E-mail:
Ph:
01 August 2021
To: Mr.Pavel Gorbunov
113B Eskdale Rd
Copy:
To whom it may concern
CONFIRMATION LETTER
My name is Mala Reubin.My contacts detailes are above. I am wrigting this letter by request from my friend Mr.Pavel (Paul) Gorbunov about what I know about his Housing Investment in Titirangi area.
My witness evidences are next:
1.I know Mr.P.Gorbunov more then 3 years.He is my not very close but friend.I know that he is gardener by his job.
2.At the beginning of our friendship he was helping me in my garden some times and he was doing its free as friend.Not often.
3.Between 2018 and December of 2020 I did not see him at all.The reason of that by the own words of Mr.P.Gorbunov was his involvement in Housing Investment.He told me in that time that he paying through the bank transfers,by Cash money too and doing development of garden and house in Titirangi area as his Housing Investment for single woman-the owner of house.He told me that he is using all his free time including the weekends,holidays,public holidays for that job.He told me that some job like suppling with firewood,food,cat food,medical suppliments,petrol ,,etc and fixing emergency job he needs make even after his job hours by the requesting from owner of that house.
4.I knew from the words of Mr.P.Gorbunov that he will have huge Investment Reward when his Investment House will be sold and he will live free in that house without any rent payments as part-home owner from beginning of his Investment.His own house he wanted to sell after renovation.
5.After long interruption in our meetings Mr.P.Gorbunov wrote me letter about meeting in December 2020.When we met each other in the beginning of December in my place he told me that he shot in monies for next Investment payments and he preposed me to be new Investor for that house in Titirangi area.He told me that owner of house is looking for new Investor and she will be happy to have meeting with me.He told me that he shot of money so deep that he was not paying some insuarances and council rates about 2 years.
6.I was rejected his idea and indeed,I preposed some financial help for him personally as 2000 dollars immediatly from my cash saving and about 3000 dollars by little portions in next months.He gave me his agree to return to me my cash money in next 6 months and to develop garden in my investment property on address:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ when he will finish his job in Titirangi area.
7.As I was promissing to Mr.P.Gorbunov I made several payments on his bank account from December 2020 till July 2021.
8.Mr.P.Gorbunov called to me in the begining of the April 2021 that his Investment House was sold without informing him and the owner of house told to him that he lost his Investment because the owner has not profit from sale.Mr.P.Gorbunov was very worry about his financial responsibility in front of me after that.
9.In the middle of April 2021 wr did have meeting and I decided to take from Mr.P.Gorbunov's building materials what I need for my house and garden. I took some materials like paint,tile,desk oil,desk timber,retaining wall timber,treated stakes,treated posts,nails,screws,building mixture,sand,soil,compost,seeds,cement,plants,fertilizer,glue and more on the total amount about 3000 dollars.
10.Mr.P.Gorbunov returned to me his debt of cash money in the end of June 2021 (1000 dollars) and in the begining of August 2021 (1000 dollars).
11. I did not know the address of the Mr.P.Gorbunov's Investment House,I did not know the name of the owner of that house. I knew from the words of Mr.P.Gorbunov which he told me in the April 2021 that he was expecting to return more then 200 hundred thousands of dollars at all.He told to me that he paid in different ways more then 80000 dollars and made gardening job for 60000 dollars.And he was waiting for Investment Bonus to him as min as 90000 dollars.
Mala Reubin