My favourite film is “Hot Shots! Part Deux”. By Jim Abrahams with Charlie Sheen as Topper Harley. Well, well, well! Topper Harley is back, armed with twice the hair and twice the body, he is prepared for twice the action and twice the women. This time his mission is to rescue men, somewhere behind enemy lines, who have nothing left and right to look forward to.
The most dramatic scene is the one where Topper gets into Saddam's place to find him waiting for the intruder with a big gun. So, here they are, the two of them – a Good Guy and a Bad Guy, face to face, ready to die but willing to survive, enjoying their first and, hopefully, last encounter.
So, where was I? Ah, yes. Saddam was the first to spot Topper in the hall and had enough time to point his gun at the Brave American’s chest. Bad luck, you say? Not for Topper. With unpredictable move he throws his rival over his shoulder and then kicks his gun out of his hands. That’s a good boy! Unfortunately, Saddam is not easily convinced of somebody else’s superiority. No wonder, the Chief Terrorist grabs one sword from the wall, the peace-loving American takes the other and the fight goes on!
At a crucial moment Topper’s sword chops off a candle or, excuse me, the candle chops off his steel weapon. Quite a blow! Anybody else would have burst into tears rolling on the floor, begging for mercy.
As for Topper, he takes a portable telephone handset with a long antenna and is invincible again! All of a sudden, Saddam’s wife is calling. The Bad Guy is at a loss, he is demoralized, but eternal men’s solidarity helps him out (Topper thinks up some plausible excuse to cover his menacing counterpart) and the First Lady is no longer a problem. OK, back to business.
The rivals are of equal strength, but Saddam is disgusting, his anti-human rhetoric leaves no one impartial, like this: “Now I will kill you until you die from it!” Easier said than done. And when you think that Topper is finished, in comes the President, out of nowhere…
But that’s quite another story and I promised to tell you only one.