To Maria E., the adoptive mother of a kid with Down Syndrome
You seem to be a miracle to me.
I saw your photos - happy, sad, and kind...
I thought: how heavy someone's life can be!
And what a wheight is hidden just behind
Those sunny pictures of your sunny boy...
I felt ashamed to peep, but started scrolling,
I watched your life - the mix of woe and joy,
I read your notes about your fate and calling
Which was to raise a very special kid.
I felt myself so different and guilty,
I should have stopped but went into a skid.
You were my age, we shared one gorgeous city,
I liked your face - so open, so sincere,
I liked your smile - so soft, so quiet and gentle,
I liked your eyes: the sparks of silent fear
Were not a rule, but something accidental -
You had so much concealed and latent strength!
I sympathized with your enormous burden,
Its width and depth, its height and size and length.
There was a cage, and you were like a bird in
So tiny space, without rights to fly,
To flee, to run, to change your past and future.
You even had no right to quit and die!
You were a bond, you were a kind of suture
Between the boy and this unfriendly world.
I held my breath, I felt my pulse increasing
And suddenly I could not find a word...
I saw your text that made my heart go freezing.
That boy, with almond-shaped and cosmic eyes,
That speechless, touching, vulnerable child,
That living being made me realize
How weak I was, how petty, how wild! -
I read with awe, with worship and remorse -
It was the way for which you'd looked and opted:
That weird creature, dear son of yours -
He was not born by you. He was adopted.