I was blind to see he did not love me

I was blind to see he did not love me .
I was praying God to be united.
He was using me for entertainment
and was laughing at the pain he gave me.

I was crying rivers every morning
nights were long , sleep was forsaken.
I was sure that my life was ended
and did not await for other feelings.

years passed, I am so cruel.
I despise all men , at least I'm trying.
Even though I am so childish
no agony can occupy me.