Am I empty or fulfilled with calmness?

Am I empty or fulfilled with calmness?
Am I happy with the life I am having.
I get up not early as a worker ,
I am like an artist without inspiration.

I am reading books with glossy pages.
I am smelling them and touch with lustfull passion.
They are teaching me to cope with my being.
They do not betray like so many others.

If I had some love in hollow chest that's breathing.
It was so alive , the blood was hellish , boiling.
Now every day I repeat my prayers.
But still can not say if it's what is needed.