I try but don't always succeed
Cutting of me the bruising wheed
That genetic and ignorance
Full of desire, our errance
Sew deep in the furrows of my soul
Black seeds of pain, growing bold
I am trying hard but still cannot win
When my heart bleeding, burns in a spin
Insulted, spitted, thrown in the mud
Twisted hormones, sin blows in a bud
What a spring for the conscience!
Smell of sulfur, spoiling decadence!
O God! Take that body away!
Or cure it now from decay!
Indeed, what use could come out of this?
If yours, vainquished, falls in emptyness?
Let your sun shine on the autumn of me
Not for my pleasing, but praising Thee
And will I still be falling apart,
For it, I won't reproach You!
We know how man excells in this art
So much promptly blaming You!
So, I will try to wear the burden
Should I disappear in my Autumn?
No matter what they could say
Surely, It'd be better this way!
It would mean in Your hidden wisdom,
You saved me from more evil to come
I have only a true favor to ask
You know, sadly so long so far
I cannot fulfil my wedding task
Take good care of my little star
And for my stumbling before Thee
Please, good Father, forgive me
I am weak and thorns pierce my memory ...
...
But sometimes, into the sighing silence
You let feel Your peace, healing presence
Let go, boy. You still have My sympathy
And what ever that will be
There s so much more to see!
Rest, have patience
Take confidence
Let go the offense ...