I feel the smell of fire,
But the ashes are what I see.
No one to behold me here, the miles and miles away...
I touch them, and my hand is black.
The soul is black and fractured
Into the thousands of shards reflecting dreary stars.
...
And what is trembling on the surface of the lake?
The tears of Universe, the dirt and deadly vapour
Which is not filled with poison,
But with grief.
...
Submerge into the waters, drowning deep,
The stars encircle the eternal sleep.
___
The angel with the coal-black wings,
The long-haired messenger of night,
I see the shimmer in his dark eyes,
Though still I loathe both death and life.
You came to save me? I do not believe;
The sword of nothingness has pierced my chest -
When childhood was still at dawn,
The wrong decade to be alone.
I saw the magick in the snow,
I knew the worlds they'll never know.
The darkness heated by the light
Lit up the torch and made it bright.
And yet...I saw decay and sorrow,
I fought with it, I fought with dread,
And tiny things that children borrow
Are no longer here as they are dead.
Who are you, fearful black-eyed angel
With a handsome face that looks like mine?
And what is that you want to tell me
Under the rose-red winter sky?
05.01.20.