ome notes on Bach and Haydn
1 it is quite something to turn your radio on
2 low
3 at 4:30 in the morning
4 in an apartment house
5 and hear Haydn
6 while through the blinds
7 you can see only the black night
8 as beautiful and quiet
9 as a flower.
10 and with that
11 something to drink,
12 of course,
13 a cigarette,
14 and the heater going,
15 and Haydn going.
16 maybe just 35 people
17 in a city of millions listening
18 as you are listening now,
19 looking at the walls,
20 smoking quietly,
21 not hating anything,
22 not wanting anything.
23 existing like mercury
24 you listen to a dead man's music
25 at 4:30 in the morning,
26 only he is not really dead
27 as the smoke from your cigarette curls up,
28 is not really dead,
29 and all is magic,
30 this good sound
31 in Idaho.
32 but now a siren takes the air,
33 some trouble, murder, robbery, death ...
34 but Haydn goes on
35 and you listen,
36 one of the finest mornings of your life
37 like some of those when you were very young
38 with stupid lunch pail
39 and sleepy eyes
40 riding the early bus to the railroad yards
41 to scrub the windows and sides of trains
42 with a brush and oakite
43 but knowing
44 all the while
45 you would take the longest gamble,
46 and now having taken it,
47 still alive,
48 poor but strong,
49 knowing Haydn at 4:30 a.m.,
50 the only way to know him,
51 the blinds down
52 and the black night
53 the cigarette
54 and in my hands this pen
55 writing in a notebook
56 (my typewriter at this hour would
57 scream like a raped bear)
58 and
59 now
60 somehow
61 knowing the way
62 warmly and gently
63 finally
64 as Haydn ends.
65 and then a voice tells me
66 where I can get bacon and eggs,
67 orange juice, toast, coffee
68 this very morning
69 for a pleasant price
70 and I like this man
71 for telling me this
72 after Haydn
73 and I want to get dressed
74 and go out and find the flunky
75 and eat bacon and eggs
76 and lift the coffee cup to my mouth,
77 but I am distracted:
78 the voice tells me that Bach
79 will be next: "Brandenburg Concerto No. 2
80 in F major,"
81 so I go into the kitchen for a
82 new can of beer.
83 may this night never see morning
84 as finally one night will not,
85 but I do suppose morning will come this day
86 asking its hard way---
87 the cars jammed on freeways,
88 faces as horrible as unflushed excreta,
89 trapped lives less than beautiful love,
90 and I walk out
91 knowing the way
92 cold beer can in hand
93 as Bach begins
94 and
95 this good night
96 is still everywhere.