Music that accompanied me while writing the work:
Knocking On Heavens Door – Guns N Roses
Be my baby – The Ronettes
Epigraph:
- In heaven, there is only talk about this man. They talk about how damn good it is to watch this woman. How they float through eternity. And a very bright light, as if from a supernova explosion, burns somewhere in the depths of their souls ... Yeah, lovely, they drink a lot of coffee, smoke ... and talk about us all this time ...
There is a chance that the addressee will never read ...
And there is a chance that he will read .. ...
There is a chance that the situation in the world and our lives will turn out in such a way that we will never meet each other again ... Who knows ...
Our paths will never cross again. Everyone goes their own way.
In time you will meet a nice woman ... you will have wonderful children ...Who knows ... Chances are you have already met a nice woman and have wonderful children. Or maybe even you have 2 beautiful women;)
And there is a possibility that you decided to become an inveterate bachelor.A lonely poet in search of an ideal ... Or ... A favorite of the crowd, leading an idle lifestyle ...
There is a possibility that by old age you will be a lonely mischievous old man who walks down the street with a stick, scares the dogs, and swears with neighbors ... And there is a possibility, that you will be a nice charming old man who will mess with his grandchildren and grow petunias ...
There is a possibility ... that I will go for coffee now. I will go out in home clothes, with disheveled hair ... And I will meet an amazing man ... There is a chance that I have already met an amazing man ... In time, we will have children ...We will rebuild my house. Or we will rebuild his house. Or we will not rebuild anything...We will just be happy ... Over time… I will forget your name..And wiping the dust from old disks and sorting through ancient photographs, I will only smile warmly ... remembering my stormy youth ...
Chances are ... I'll just go get coffee, buy cigarettes, come back and continue writing this story (lovely, this scenario happened, exhale;) I will release the creative impulse, I will write what I think ... what I feel…It's beautiful story anyway. And tomorrow, for example .. um .. I really don't know what will tomorrow...
In time, maybe I will become a lonely crazy old woman who has 40 cats ... I will walk down the street with a stick ... and swear with neighbors. And... maybe.. I still take care of the lilies ..
There is a possibility .. that someday.. we will meet each other ... somewhere..There is a possibility that we will pretend that we do not know each other ... Or we will just smile ... We will see that each of us has a nice spouse, and children, a good life ... and it will just be warm in our hearts ...
But there is a possibility .. That we will see each other much earlier ...I will make eyes at you, in the hope that I look stunning, that you would like to invite me ... to drink coffee ... or water?;) If that happens when that happens, I hope you will be magnificent too;)
And there is a chance that I will take the situation into my own hands, and I myself will invite you to sit somewhere, talk ... There is a high probability that I will receive a delicate refusal. Our paths will go our separate ways ..You will miss your chance and turn into a grumpy old man with a stick. And I will start "collecting cats" in the country. Nobody knows how it will be ...(in general, learn the material, baby, if we don't give each other a chance, you will instantly become a grumpy old man with a stick;)
There is a possibility .. That you yourself are waiting for the moment, and I am writing all this in vain ...You have already decided ... That when all this shit is over and you meet this woman again, you will definitely use your chance.
And there is a possibility … that you have decided that never, and for nothing in your life, you will not begin to communicate and "drink coffee" with this woman. At night you have nightmares, you wake up in a cold sweat, and you wave family cowards in horror;)))
There is a possibility .. That you will simply become curious about what kind of woman she is .. You will not go out of sympathy for her, but rather out of entertainment ... we will buy cheap drinks, make ourselves comfortable ... And at first we will be awkwardly silent, my nose will itch all the time, we will smoke a lot, your left eye will start twitching, and you will begin to regret that you got into this «adventure»..
And there is a possibility that ..We will choke on speech, we will ask each other different questions «not in the right place», listen carefully, or interrupt each other,.. may be not logical .. You will feel my flavor...I will feel yours..Damn.There is no chance,lovely… There is a fact. Definitely .. your flavor is delicious. I remember. You are delicious ...
But there is a chance that we will go for coffee, we will talk, and I will understand in an hour that you are a complete idiot… half an hour. ..And I will regret that I was too persistent, and my "lovely and irresistible" is just a moron;))
You know ... there is a possibility..That we can get to know each other... Not right away. You will keep your privacy. And I'll go crazy for you…Because you smell so delicious;) ... But there is no possibility. It is a fact. I am an adult adequate woman. I love myself and respect myself. And of course, I will never show you how worried I am. I will observe you, your attitude towards me ... Analyze ... And you will observe ...
And there is a chance that we can get closer...There is the possibility of a chemical reaction that knows no excuses, boundaries or distances, does not recognize the word "no" and completely engulfs you.There is a chance that you will indeed meet a wonderful woman, and I will meet a good man. But at one point of intersection of time and space ...
Time will pass ... and ... You will continue to shine ... And I will take care of the house, cook delicious cutlets, and I will be beautiful for you… and for myself;) Waiting…While you are driving home from work. Only in a transparent apron.Îê, îê)))it will be me in apron only;) And in time ... Who knows .. Maybe we will decide that it will be better to be three;) .. or four;) For example…we will have lovely twins ... (what did you think ?;)And after 60 we will start wearing the same clothes with the whole family??? ))Or we decide that we just feel good together ..
And then you will become an old man ... and I am an old woman ... Maybe we will be cute .. or maybe we will quarrel with our neighbors ... Maybe we will have grandchildren ... 40 cats? Lilies?))) And I will still speak shitty English, and I will not learn your language ... Or I will learn ...Would you like to learn my language?
Who knows ... if the universe gives such a scenario ... who knows ...
Anyway ... in any of the millions of scenarios ... you know.. You should know .. Together or separately…. In time we will turn to dust ...
Over time... Everything will turn to dust... Other people... Other cities... Countries... Perhaps the continents will change their position ...
Over time, Betelgeuse will explode ... No one knows how this will affect ...
Civilization will disappear ... the Earth will change its angle of rotation ... Or something else will happen ... Hundreds of years will pass ... Millions of years will pass ... Our Sun will swallow our planet ... It will explode ... There is nothing in this place will not appear. Or a new star ... Stars in the Universe die and are born, planets are formed ... and ... who knows ... where we will end up ... When the sun destroys our planet, our particles will burn out, turn into other chemical elements .. Perhaps we ourselves will become celestial bodies ... Planets ... Metals ...
Who knows ... Perhaps when our star explodes, you and I will fly apart in different directions of the universe ... We will be so far from each other ... Perhaps at such a distance that even a radio signal will not overcome it. A couple of million light years? )) Nobody knows…
There is a possibility ... that over time ... Millions of years will pass ... Maybe even billions ... Our particles will reincarnate ... Travel in space, change bodies and forms ... We will be born constantly. .. We will die constantly...
There is a possibility that we were already born ... We were already dying, lovely. ... We are already these particles that travel in time, space..
There is a possibility ... That one day ... we will live again ... on the same planet ... For example ... in.. 7? billions of years. Maybe ... this planet will be square? No. Ahahah scientifically proven that everything is round;) And it goes in a circle ... 7 billion is also not enough. Hmm ... New star + new planet + new life + new life with intelligence ... ... about 20 billion years,I guess?
But chances are there will be a different light spectrum on this planet. Home stars are different. And on this planet in the life zone ... there will be other dominant beings. Maybe they will have purple or blue skin? Maybe 2 or 3 heads ... And there will be different beautiful plants ... flowers ... Maybe in 20 billion years you will become a beautiful flower;) ... And I will have 3 blue bold heads;...Hm..no no;)I will be a beautiful flower, and You will have three blue bold heads. Yeah. Accept your fate, lovely! In 20 billion years, you will have 3 blue bold head;))
Over time ... the Universe will begin to cool down ... The stars will die ... There will be less light ... And, perhaps, the Universe will prepare for the new Big Bang.. It will be cold ... Or it may be hot ..
Baby, I don’t know ... I don’t know how it will be ... I don’t know what will happen in 20 billion years ... I don’t know what will be left of us ....And I don't know what the probability is ...
But I'm sure ...Lovely... That up to this moment ... and even after...What is left of me or who or what I will become…. will endlessly adore what is left of you ... or who or what you will become ...