“Quick-quick slow, “Quick-quick slow” - music was singing in her ears and warm melody made her float in the air from left to right , forwards and backwards . She was afraid to fell from her bed and started squeezing the pillow tight. Rachel closed her eyes…Where are you?
-1-
The dance floor was shiny and sparkly from the glitter globe in the ceiling.
She remembered his full lips, hidden slightly under the small black mustache, she stared at his handsome face and wanted to touch his accurately trimmed beard. “It’s probably feels softer than it looks” she thought, Rachel finally rase her head and had a courage to look him in the eyes. Her own eyes filled up with water, when she saw his dark brown sparkly eyes were looking at her , nobody ever looked at her like that in her entire life.
- Rachel, don’t be afraid” , - said Eli , - he took her right hand, “ just brush it over your head”, he said, - watching Rachel as she made a circle with the hand around her head and closed her eyes with shyness.
- I didn’t know what to do”, - she smiled at Eli. “You should wave and dance a little with your hand , show your feelings , it’s so beautiful, otherwise what is the point?”, - he answered and watched her turning very slowly instead.
- Oh, maybe I can spin a little? “, - Rachel laughed and than stopping herself, - “ahh…No, I am doing it wrong”, - she smiled and bit her lips. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth about her numb legs.
“ Stop flirting with him, silly !” - she was trying to control herself.
Rachel sighed… where are you?
- Mama! You have to eat , can you hear me , please? - Rachel woke up from her memories, when she heard her son’s voice.
- I am too tired now sweetie let me rest a little more, - Rachel answered and slowly pushed back the rolling table with an apple sauce and plastic spoon on it , then she touched her son’s hand ,
- Mark baby, your hand is so warm , thank you for everything, you should go home to sleep now. I have nurses here, they will watch me at night. I love you my baby, I promise I will see you tomorrow morning.
- I love you mom very much, please don’t forget to eat. I will come tomorrow with Adel, she wanted to see you today, but got busy with Ethan. We will take you for a stroll in the garden by the lake , remember the one with a little fountain, you said you wanted to see it, said Mark.
- Thank you Mark please say hi to Adel, see you both tomorrow, - said Rachel and closed her eyes.
She felt tired, but good at the same time , she wanted to remember everything again, allowing herself free her thoughts and feelings maybe for the last time in her life.
All her life Rachel wanted to be a good wife , a good mother, a good daughter. She loved her family the most, but for any strange reasons the loneliness and low self-esteem always took away her confidence. Rachel always doubt if she was good enough in anything, she was never sure of herself until one day she met Eli.
-2-
It was Monday evening and she felt good very relaxed and energetic, which recently happened very rarely. Gym was almost empty in the early evening.
Rachel went inside the exercise-ballroom and was surprised how shiny it seemed. She signed her name in the list,
- Hello, I am new here, I hope I am not late.
- Do you like rumba? - Eli asked.
- I don’t really know, - Rachel answered, - I supposed I do , I like the music it’s very beautiful , but I don’t know the steps, It’s my first time here, - She smiled and down her eyes. It’s been so long since she looked at another man beside her husband.
- It makes two of us , my first time here too, - said Eli, - how do you like this place?
- I was impressed, this club has lots of activities , - Rachel smiled again, - I am not used to that life style.
- Do you play golf? - Eli asked.
- No , - she shook her head.
- How about tennis?
- Not really.
- Maybe yoga?
Rachel shook her head, she didn’t want to tell him the real truth about herself.
- I love swimming and dancing, - Rachel hesitated to answer.
- Here we go, that’s something, right? I am sure you will be fine just trust me. Please, let me bring you a chair just sit for a minute.
It was seven in the evening, all couples started to filling up the dance floor, everyone was taking a chair and staging them along the wall, put their belongings, changing to the dancing shoes getting ready for the class.
Rachel sat down on her chair next to Eli, who was still standing. She noticed that he was already wearing his black soft dance shoes . He was in black dressed pants, burgundy shirt and grey jacket over it. His accurate black mustache and short beard made him look like a professor in college .
His long dark hair was curled up in the back of his head , Rachel noticed it, when he turned to another couple , who just opened the door and were rushing to change for the dance class.
- My dear students, my name is Eli , I will be your teacher for today ladies and gentlemen, let’s start it!
- Where is Dave? - one of the older women asked.
- My friend Dave asked me to substitute him tonight.
- Hope only for today, - the younger women sighed, - we want Dave. She looked sad.
- Absolutely , yes only for today, - said Eli and looked briefly at Rachel, - I hope you will not be disappointed. Ladies please lined up to the right, men please lined up to the left in front of your partner.
- Sorry, I don’t have a partner, is it ok for me to stay, please? - Rachel asked quietly and put her eyes down in shame.
- No worries, I will dance with you, - Eli said quietly.
- Thank you , I can’t believe you are my dance teacher, - she whispered back.
- Me neither, - He smiled, and then said louder , - let’s start Rumba , quick quick slow, quick quick slow. Men first, - Eli showed steps : two to the side, one to the front, two to the side, one to the back. Now women, please mirror the steps . One step to the back, two to the side, and again front. Quick, quick quick slow. And now take your partner.
Eli came so close to Rachel that she could hear his heart beats the rhythm “quick-quick slow “. Her own heart started racing so fast she couldn’t control it,
- I am so nervous, I don’t think I can do it…
He took her hands so gently and she felt the warmth going inside her veins, she was melting inside out and was afraid to look at his eyes , but instead looked at his full lips, and then down, which made her feet stepping on the clouds.
- Quick quick slow, Quick quick slow, - Eli kept repeating with a smile.
Minutes later she was dancing, as if she was dancing with him the whole life.
-3-
Rachel relaxed her arms around Eli’s neck and put her fingers through his soft curls, then closed his eyes with her palms
- Eli, don’t look at me like this, you made me blush and melt, - Rachel smiled.
- I just wanted to see you flying , - he squinted his eyes and took her hands slowly, - I can see you with my eyes closed, I can hear your heart without listening, I can feel your body without touching, I want you to melt and get through my skin inside my blood. Give me a little pressure, I will give you mine - he smiled and squeezed her hands , - not too much just equally. Can you feel me?
- Yes, I can, - said Rachel , she was floating, feeling his rhythm, pressing back her palms, her pain was disappearing, her body was his now , - “ please take it , it’s yours, I don’t need it anymore, I belong to you”, - she whispered in Eli’s ear.
- You can do anything, Rachel! Don’t forget yourself…I will never let you go, just trust me.
- I wish, I can stay with you forever, - Rachel said quietly.
It’s been almost two months since she started the dancing class and every Monday she was rushing to get to the class at seven, just for that little time, it was just forty five minutes, but she could forget about reality and live in her fantasy world, to feel something instead of her normal.
“Everyone has a health problem, people can live without legs it’s just different life but also life”, as her husband Benjamin always said, “ You are not sick, it’s just a condition”.
Ben was a good husband, a good man, he was caring, loved cooking and cleaning, helping Rachel dress up and take a bath, especially after the surgery, without him she wouldn’t survive that long. Rachel truly appreciated it and loved him for being there for her.
Ben was always very cautious about how she can go through the day makes sure she eats healthy, takes medication and has everything she needs. But to talk about emotions and feelings wasn’t his cup of tea, he needed something else to occupy his mind, watching news and browsing internet, just don’t disturb him with talking. He was happy when Rachel asked him if she can take dance classes.
- I will take you there , only don’t make me dance, - Ben said affirmatively.
- Honey, how will I dance without you? - asked Rachel, she turned away, so he will not see that she was almost crying.
- You will be fine, just do your exercises.
Ben smiled, but Rachel could say he was annoyed by her. She didn’t want to upset him , and was afraid if he will change his mind to drive her to the gym at all. She was really looking forward to it the whole day.
- Alright, I will try dancing by myself, - Rachel answered quietly, trying to stay calm, deep inside she was a little scared of falling, what if she will loose balance if she will not hold his hand. “everything will be ok” she was telling herself, “ just think positive”.
Rachel was going to the dance class every Monday even if she couldn’t get up from the bed , she forced herself. She needed to dance as she needed an air, until she didn’t have an air anymore.
-4-
Eli walked into the Gym and got impressed how well it was setup, lots of exercise equipment, clean and shiny windows, lights everywhere.
He checked in at the front desk and went towards the directions that young guy explained to him.
The ballroom was huge, yellow shiny dance floor was sparking under the big disco ball and mirrors on the walls.
“They better have lots of dancing here”, - he thought. Eli was in his forties , which is not really a dance competition age anymore, he finally found a teaching job at the country club.
Eli could not believe how beautiful it was there until Dave invited him one day, he never even dreamed to be in such places.The Country Club grounds were looked like a resorts from the pictures in the glancing magazines.
In late 90’s Eli came with his mother and grandmother from Israel to make their livings in America.
Dave was his only friend in high-school, who help him to get through those years. Eli’s English wasn’t as good as now and Dave got an idea to join a dance troupe, “we can work as dancers, you don’t need to speak there” .
They both were young , very athletic handsome looking boys, they needed to pay rent of the apartment they lived in with other three roommates, nobody can afford apartment after high-school on their own, unless you came from the rich family.
Eighteen years old Eli worked at the gas station during the day and danced in the evenings at the local theater and on weekends at the local dance school in Boca Raton region. He helped his mom and grandma with groceries , who lived in two bedroom apartment at the fifty five plus community. His mom, Ida Silverman was working as a nurse there helping few older women as well as taking care of her mother Raya, who was eighty years old.
All his life Eli was hoping to buy a house and build his own family, but girls he was dancing with at the theater, were treated him as a work partner or as a one night stand boyfriend, he never had serious relationships or true love.
Even his friend Dave got married, but then divorced soon after because of his work as a dancer, they had busy life schedule and no time for family.
Time flew by and one day they got older and lost their jobs.
Eli and Dave were both working at Uber and Amazon delivery for a while during the pandemic years, when finally Dave got recruited at the country club to teach dance lessons for older couples.
- They are mostly over sixty or seventy years old, retired people ,- Dave told to Eli, - but lots of energy.
- That’s sounds such a boring job , really, old people !? - Eli asked, - Hey, do you want to meet a sugar mama for yourself? - he was making fun of Dave.
- My brother, you will be surprised, white rich people has so much energy and they still smell good , - Dave laughed back, - It’s a good pay, you can take Mondays and I will teach Wednesdays, I am not greedy I will share with you . I making salary in on day as you do in two weeks!
Eli got excited, he was very short on money and needed to pay rent for his apartment , that job sounded promising.
- Make sure you dressed neatly and please wear jacket, they have a Dress code at the county club, - Dave said.
-5-
Eli was thinking about that evening, he dressed nicely in black pants and burgundy shirt with grey jacket over it. He trimmed his mustache and beard accurately, he didn’t want to shave it off completely in order to look older, he was pleased with himself.
He was imagining, maybe one of the grandmas will like him and will give him a good fat tip for a dance class ,- he smirked at himself. “Yeah you wish , you are not exactly Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing”.
Eli walked into the dance room and saw a red haired women wondering around.
“It’s probably one of the students” - he thought, - “or maybe not , she doesn’t look old , little older than his age maybe late fourties’ . She was wearing black tights with oversized light blue blouse on top. Women turned around, she seemed scared with his presence in the room.
- Hello, - she said with a little accent, she smiled and look him in the eyes.
Her light brown eyes were sparkling from the light and when she smiled at him with shyness or fear, he couldn’t tell exactly, he almost got speechless from the strong feeling of lightening has stroked his heart or maybe his head too, because he felt he was loosing it.
He came over closer to her and shake her cold hand ,
- I am Eli, how are you?
- I am Rachel, very nice to meet you Eli, - she repeated his name with her not a British accent, he noticed, but hesitated to ask where exactly she was from originally.
Eli tried to occupy himself with something to control his heart, which started beating so fast, he never thought he capable of.
Eli took his notebook and wrote his name on one of the list , then he gave it to Rachel,
- You can please sign your name and member number here , hold on I will get you a chair.
Few couples entered the room and also picked up chairs for themselves.
Dance class began smoothly, Eli was organized everybody as he always does with children in his local dance school.
He felt like he was walking on the clouds while showing steps to the women next to him ,
- Rumba is a very elegant, sexy slow dance, just please count in your head, quick quick slow, quick quick slow.
Eli could hear himself, but he only saw Rachel’s eyes in front of him. He was falling in love for the first time in his life.
He couldn’t stop thinking and analyzing…
How can you fall in love with a total stranger, how can you explain, that anxiety to stay closer, to touch, to smell, to dance, to fly?
Who are you? Are you a fruit or a vegetable? Are you a bird or an angel? Animal or a flower?
What if she is married? No, there is no ring on her finger! She doesn’t wear any jewelry as other older women, no perfume, but her scent of lilac soap or shampoo was hunting him.
- I don’t know if I will see you again next Monday, - Eli told her, when the class was finished, - they seemed to want Dave to teach this class.
- That’s sad, but maybe one day, one other Mondays , I will see you again, I will be waiting for you . Thank you Eli very much for the wonderful rumba dance, I hope, I didn’t stepped on your feet a lot, - Rachel smiled.
- Goodbye and have a good evening Rachel , - Eli said, - You didn’t , no worries, you can do anything!
-6-
Eli was rushing to get through the door, his eyes filled with happiness and sadness at the same time, he didn’t want todays class to end , it meant to leave Rachel until next week.
He wasn’t looking as he bummed at Ben, who was waiting in the corridor.
- Oops sorry, did I stepped on you? - Eli apologized.
- No problem, thank you for your service, - said Ben.
- Service? - Eli asked.
- I mean good job, you were teaching my wife Rachel to dance, I was waiting here watching through the wall mirror in the corridor, - told him Ben and shook his hand.
Eli looked confused, he was disappointed with Rachel been married,
- Good evening , yeah ..everything was fine, sir, - he said and walked away faster to the parking lot.
Dave listen without interruption and after Eli finished talking he pat him on his back and said,
- Let’s switch days, I will teach Mondays and you will do Wednesdays, you are killing yourself, you are falling for a married woman it’s not healthy my friend.
- It’s just two months , eight classes, you don’t understand she is waiting for me every time. I can see it in her happy eyes when she is dancing.
- Eli , don’t you understand, Rachel is married, you can’t expect her leaving her husband for you , her rich husband,- Dave said.
- What if…
- There is no if , - Dave interrupted him , we are switching days I can’t see you suffer like that.
- I can’t hurt her , I have to be there for her, please Dave. You should see how happy she is , she lives in every dancing step. I can feel her body and she can feel mine, it’s a true love, when we are dancing together, we are both alive.
- You are living in your fantasyland, my friend, - Dave said.
- Then please, let me live a little bit longer, - Eli said and picked up his phone.
- Hi mom, - Eli answered the phone, - I will be there soon yes, - Dave, I have to go, my grandma is in the hospital, please cover me today at the class, please tell Rachel, that I will be there as soon as I can, I will call you later ok, my friend. Please, let her know I don’t want to loose her, - asked Eli and rushed to go his car.
-7-
Grandma Raya passed away in few weeks in the hospital. Eli was staying with his mom and grandma to the very end, they both needed his support.
He was thinking about Rachel, Dave told him that she was asking for him every time and was sending her prayers for Eli’s grandma.
It’s been two Mondays since Rachel didn’t come to the dance class Dave told him and Eli was worried if she was upset with him.
- Don’t worry, she knows you are busy with everything, organizing funeral it’s a time consuming, - Dave said.
- What if something happened? - Eli felt hopeless, grief for grandma and wishing to be with Rachel , to see her eyes again, made him devastated.
Funeral house was small, filled with just fewer people.
Eli came back there with mom Ida after his grandma’s Raya funeral to picked up final paperwork and copies of the documents.
He heard little baby crying loud and looked out in the corridor.
Suddenly, he saw Ben , Rachel’s Husband with the baby on his hands.
Eli recognized him instantly, Ben was very tall and spoke quietly to a baby
- Shh child Shh…, - said Ben, - Sorry is he very loud?
- Hello sir, you probably don’t remember me, - said Eli.
- Sure, I remember you, shhh, - said Ben, trying to calm down the baby, - You are the dance teacher, Rachel liked your classes.
- Thank you, is it yours and Rachel baby? I didn’t know, - Eli looked confused.
- No, this is our grandson Ethan , our children came over yesterday for Rachel’s funeral, she passed away this Monday, - said Ben.
- I am very sorry sir for your loss, - said Eli in shock, - Why… what happened? - he asked in disbelief.
- It was unexpected, but we all knew one day it will happen, Rachel had stage four cancer she was fighting it for over five years now. It was very sad because she seemed so alive and happy for the last few months and then she left us in her sleep very peacefully with a smile on her face.
- She has.. had a beautiful smile, - Eli said and turned away his face to hide the tears and looked at his mom , - This is my mother Ida, we just lost our grandmother. Can we please see Rachel to say our good-byes ?
- I am sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences. Yes, please follow me in this room, baby seems sleeping now, - said Ben , covering child’s face with a blanket.
Eli and Ida followed Ben and walked over closer ,
- Hi Rachel, - Eli could hear himself speak, but it sounds unreal, - This is my mom Ida she was looking forward to meet you.
- Rest In Peace , sweetie, - said Ida and excused herself to sit down on the bench.
- Quick quick slow, my flower, my Rachel, wait for me as you promised I will be there a little later, just wait and trust me , I will be dancing with you in heaven forever, - said Eli, he was thinking
“I wish I can see your eyes again and kiss your lips and hold you tight, if I only knew it would be the last time. Please, wait for me Rachel as you promise, don’t forget yourself my love.”
Eli remembered their dance together and his feet was making rumba steps for the last time next to Rachel, quick quick slow, quick quick slow…