It seemed to me that my eyes, under the black bandage, were deeply sunk in pitch darkness, in the very one in which the brain is constantly located - where there is not even a glimpse, a hint of light ...
I was immersed in the mysteries of darkness and gloom, deprived of the slightest opportunity to see anything, to distinguish ... Eyes tightly closed with a bandage like blinds And on the windows - they cut me off from the surrounding, outside world and the usual light ...
Darkness stood as a wall between me and everything that until recently surrounded me... Yes, to know the light, you need to fall into the darkness! She blinded me, made me helpless, left me alone with myself, with feelings that swept over me like a tsunami ... Complete, pitch darkness enveloped me with a feeling of weightlessness - it was as if they hung me, tied directly to the sky ...
The bandage encircled my head in a tight ring, and only its ends falling out of the knot at the back of the head, skillfully tied by the Man in Black, touched my neck and shoulders... The excitement and delight took my breath away and my head was spinning.... My imagination drew the most extraordinary pictures, it seemed to me that I was on the surface of some unknown Planet with sounds, rustles and even smells unfamiliar to me... Around me, the unknown wandered, circulated, unfamiliar and completely alien life. I hear it, I feel it, I feel it...
But I don't understand what's going on around me... Where am I really now? Who surrounds me? Whose breath do I hear in the dark? Some kind of carousel of sounds from another dimension, another world revolves around me... There is total darkness and gloom around me... Some kind of mysticism!
I hear the crackle of fire in the flame of a candle, somewhere nearby ... It seems to me that I even feel the warmth of the fire, I hear hot drops of hot wax flowing down the round sides of the candle ...
Do you hear it? Do you hear how the fire crackles over the candles?
Darkness settled in my eyes ... I can only imagine, assume how I look from the outside. It seems to me that this is an impressive, not for the faint of heart, strange, in a word, spectacle ... The collar of a white shirt tucked into trousers is raised, the buttons are unbuttoned, the left part of the bare chest is visible from under the snow-white shirt ... The trouser leg of one leg is rolled up to the knee ... And the other, as usual, in full length, neatly falls on the shoes ... There are no shoes on one leg ... Isn't it true, seeing such a person on the street, you might think that this is just crazy ... Or some kind of eccentric, romantic ... But this is far from being the case ... This is a real, ancient ritual of initiation - on the path to the light ...
Two Persons in top hats and snow-white shirts under strict, polished tailcoats, in white gloves with a bow tie under a starched standing collar, left and right, lead me carefully supporting my elbows ... Sometimes, from sounds or voices coming from somewhere deep in the hall, from under the ceiling ... I shudder, throws me to the left, brings me to the right, and then, straightening my back, I lose my balance ... they still hold me under my arms so that I stay on my feet all the time, so that nothing happens to me ... They are now my eyes - I must trust them, and follow with them, where they lead me ...
I carefully feel the ground under my feet and take another step! A strange feeling - not to see anything - what is happening around you, next to you ... And only hearing reminds me of the existence of Life outside the bandage, and only it connects me with the outer, sacred world ...
Someone's hand lay on my shoulder and, slightly pressing down, indicated that I should stop and kneel ... I sank down in anticipation. A low voice said:
- I am ordered to meet you with a point directed at your left bare chest, which should show you that this object, which is the subject of torture for the body, will also torment your Soul and conscience if you ever betray the secrets of our meeting ... Immediately I felt a cold touch on my chest.
Startled by an unexpected prick in the chest, I heard my heart pounding, thumping and adrenaline rushed into my blood ... I heard the words of a prayer!
I stop being nervous and the tension slowly slips off me like dried snake skin, rolling off the tips of my fingers ...
From afar, now to the left, now to the right, or even from above, I hear someone's voice. Now he asked - do you believe in G-d, the Great Architect of the Universe?
- Yes, - I answer somewhere in the void and feel how the hands of the guides approvingly, brotherly again take my elbows ... I feel the support and warmth of those who are next to me ... We move on ...
Slowly and stealthily we move somewhere forward, we pass through some obstacles unusually spread out under our feet, bend down, scroll around the axis by 360 degrees... From somewhere there is some kind of rumble, clatter... It seems to me that bison are rushing past me... We again move on. Suddenly a breeze rises from nowhere, it playfully licks my face, hands, bare chest, leg... They lead me to something, through some wonderful places, which, it seems to me, I have never been... A solid illusion, mysticism, it seems that there is an abyss under my feet...
Being in complete darkness, I had from the darkest corners of my subconscious, the same emotions as then, in my youth, when one late night, I had to make my way along the paths of an old, abandoned cemetery. God, oh... and then I suffered fears ... It seemed to me that behind every cross, buried in cemetery flowers, greenery, a bony dead man was waiting for me, with bursting eyes in a split skull and bloody saliva, a black snake crawling out of a broken jaw ...
The minutes that I spent in that cemetery seemed like an eternity, the most terrible event in my Life that I had ever experienced ... And now, making my way through invisible barriers, the sounds that surrounded me seem to be there, in that cemetery in the distant past ...
After a while, sounds and rustles remain behind me. The same low voice asks me about my intentions and deeds... Behind me I hear applause, approving voices... Someone suddenly tore off the bandage from my eyes!
A bright light burst into my eyes. I can't see anything, I'm blinded by the light...
A few seconds later, in front of me, like in a Polaroid photograph, what I should have seen appeared.
In front of me on an old bedside table, with painted sides and carved legs, on a beautiful tablecloth, is a huge Bible and the Torah ...
Putting my palm on the sacred books, I repeated the exciting words of the prayer behind the voice that sounded on the throne, there in front ...
What happened, I actually dreamed of - Mozart, the great composer, has now become my brother ... I went the way that he and many of those who decided to come from darkness to light ... So be it! Let it be so….