...Звенигород ...29 марта 2015 года
Прощаясь с английским послом сэром Гамильтоном Сеймуром в феврале 1854 года, Николай I сказал:
«Может быть, я надену траур по русском флоте, но никогда не буду носить траура по русской чести».
Быть умным сильно мешает желание казаться таким.
иранская пословица // http://www.stihi.ru/2015/04/08/1854
иранская пословица // http://www.stihi.ru/2015/04/08/2074
Mr. Nesharik-off simply blew off-f-f-f-f-f
-i- из переписки 2 виртуальных друзей -i-
"" В этом все русские. Мы носим майки с надписью «No Fear». У них это написано в глазах. ""
Джереми Кларксон —
Парфюмерный магазин "Л'Этуаль", Звенигород, ул. Московская, д. 17
Телефон: 8 (800) 333-77-11 доб. 34586, 34587
Часы работы: 10:00 - 21:00
http://www.be-in.ru/network/5306-
letual/320575-g-zvenigorod-ul-moskovskaya-d-17/
Магазин алкогольных напитков "ВинтрестЪ", Звенигород, ул. Московская, 17
Парикмахерская "Elegance", Звенигород, ул. Московская, 17
...ТАК НА ЧЁМ ПРОКОЛОЛСЯ БЕДНЯГА ЖОРИК 11 АПРЕЛЯ 2015 ГОДА =?=
...речь конечно же о Джерими Кларксоне …а о ком же ещё?! )))))))
Джереми Чарльз Роберт Кларксон (11.04.1960 — английский телеведущий и журналист, специализирующийся на автомобильной тематике. Широко известен как ведущий телевизионного шоу Top Gear корпорации BBC, получившего премию Emmy в 2005 году. Автор еженедельных колонок для газет Sunday Times и Sun. Вместе с Джеймсом Мэем был первым, кто достиг магнитного северного полюса Земли на автомобиле, что вошло в один из выпусков телепередачи Top Gear.
-=-
— Помилуйте, сеньор, — возразил Санчо, — то, что там виднеется, вовсе не великаны, а ветряные мельницы; то же, что вы принимаете за их руки, — это крылья: они кружатся от ветра и приводят в движение мельничные жернова.
— Сейчас видно неопытного искателя приключений, — заметил Дон Кихот, — это великаны. И если ты боишься, то отъезжай в сторону и помолись, а я тем временем вступлю с ними в жестокий и неравный бой.
Санчо Панса & Дон Кихот
Люди учёные не владеют
никаким другим оружием,
кроме оружия женщин,
то есть языка.
Сервантес
-=-
A week had passed since the beginning of their acquaintance. It was a holiday.
Indoors it was stuffy, but the dust rose in clouds out of doors, and people's hats blew off.
Lady with Lapdog. Anton Chekhov
http://www.eldritchpress.org/ac/lapdog.html
=i= 'We were right in the middle of the restaurant and Kitty blew off in front of them all.' =I=
...just because I forgot to buy the coffee, there is no need to blow my head off
...and my oil cap simply blew off ))))))) ))))))) )))))))
...так на чём прокололся Жорик? ...всем "знатокам" английского языка посвящается )))))))
Blow off is a British slang term usually used by children to mean "fart". This term was prevalent up until recently but its use seems to be declining and the bawdy American version which means to ignore, or snub, is taking over. This is one of the reasons Americans are laughed at in Britain as it causes some humour in British households.
My older sister was on the phone to her boyfriend last night and I heard her blow off just as she was pretending to kiss him.
Hey these days you dont talk to nobody, you know what they call you down at Morgans Bar? huh? they call you Mr Blow off, yeah ! hey how about that.
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/blow+off
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My Hat Blew Off.
SHERIDAN, John D.
Bookseller Richard Roberts Bookseller., (KILMARNOCK, United Kingdom)
Item Description: Dublin: Talbot Press, 1951. 2nd Impression. 190pp. Small cancel stamp to front pastedown but no other library marks. A florid gift inscription to the front free endpaper. These apart a very good plus hardback copy. In a very good unclipped wrapper. Another collection of Sheridan's light essays reflecting his infectious humour. Bookseller Inventory # 5056
-=-
// be continued
Защищать Родину – это почётная обязанность всех мужчин, способных держать в руках оружие.
- мой непосредственный начальник - *
* просто 1 апреля пришлось достать из коробочки мой военный билет
...ТАК НА ЧЁМ ПРОКОЛОЛСЯ БЕДНЯГА ЖОРИК 11 АПРЕЛЯ 2015 ГОДА =?=
...речь конечно же о Джерими Кларксоне …а о ком же ещё?! )))))))
«Купить внедорожник, живя в городе, все равно что месяц не снимать презерватив ради одного удачного дня».
Джереми Кларксон —
один из самых известных и ярких автожурналистов в мире — больше не будет ведущим шоу Top Gear. В корпорации BBC решили не продлевать с ним контракт из-за скандала с помощником продюсера Ойсином Таймоном, которого Кларксон ударил, потому что ему вовремя не принесли ужин. «Мотор» выбрал самые интересные высказывания Джереми, снабдив их его собственными эмоциями
Джереми Кларксон —
» Когда британец, фанат «Top Gear» хочет сфотографироваться со мной, он часами объясняет, как его сын смотрит шоу на канале «Dave» и как он может пародировать меня, и как все в доме «молятся» на нашу передачу. В России же просто говорят: «Фото». И если у них с собой нет фотоаппарата, то вам говорят стоять и ждать, пока они не съездят домой и не возьмут его. «
Джереми Кларксон —
В The Daily Mirror (британский таблоид) наткнулся на письмо от читателя, в котором тот рассказывает: «Ехал я на работу на своем велосипеде. А мне навстречу вылетел красный Ferrari, из его окна показался Джереми Кларксон, который крикнул мне: «Эй, купи себе тачку!», мгновенно дал по газам и умчал». Признаюсь вам, это чистой воды ложь! На самом деле я кричал ему: «Эй, купи себе тачку, кисломордый травоядный говнюк!»
Джереми Кларксон —
Простите, но владеть Aston Martin DB9 и не ездить на нем — это как если бы Кира Найтли оказалась в вашей постели, а вы бы отправились спать на кушетку. Если у вас есть хотя бы полмошонки, вы этого не допустите.
Джереми Кларксон —
Когда гоночные машины переделывают в дорожные версии, ничего хорошего из этого не получается. Это как снять фильм для взрослых, а потом смонтировать его так, чтобы можно было показывать в британских отелях. В итоге получится получасовой крупный план потной рожи какого-то парня.
Джереми Кларксон —
Если у вас есть какие-то возражения против того, что мы делаем, то, пожалуйста, во что бы то ни стало не стесняйтесь держать их при себе.
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...и просто любопытная ссылка
Современные трамваи встретились со своими "дедушками" на Чистых прудах
16:22 11.04.2015
http://www.ng.ru/photo/3291/?el=16
11 апреля 2015 года на Чистопрудном бульваре состоялся Парад трамваев,
посвященный 116-летней годовщине со дня запуска в столице первого
электрического трамвая. Публике были представлены 17 вагонов:
от легендарной "конки" до самой современной "Метелицы".
-=-
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born 11 April 1960) is an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for co-presenting the BBC TV show Top Gear with Richard Hammond and James May from 2002 to 2015. He also writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun.
From a career as a local journalist in Northern England, Clarkson rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s, he has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000, he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often provoked public reaction. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public. He has also garnered a significant public following, being credited as a major factor in the resurgence of Top Gear as one of the most popular shows on the BBC.
On 25 March 2015, the BBC announced it would not renew Clarkson's contract after he verbally and physically attacked a Top Gear producer over a dispute at a hotel while filming on location.
Wikipedia
“Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal.”
— Jeremy Clarkson
http://www.jeremyclarkson.co.uk/jc-top-gear-quotes/
And when you rely on a sat nav, you don’t notice that the sun is in the wrong place in the sky. You stop using your inbuilt compass, your innate sense of which way is up. And don’t argue with any of this. Everyone can navigate by instinct, and if you can’t there’s something wrong with you and you should be in prison. The only people who can’t navigate instinctively are women and anyone trying to find Malpensa airport in Milan.
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you.
I've seen better looking gangrenous wounds than this. (Clarkson on the Porsche Cayenne)
(Referring to the Porsche Cayenne) 0-60 takes 5 and a half seconds...and about 17 gallons of fuel....
Now we've been told in this new series, we've got to feature more green cars. So here's one. It's really the greenest car we could find, really. (A bright green Lamborghini Murcielago)
Now we get quite a few complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show, so we're kicking off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all. (a Ferrari F430)
(At start of Top Gear Nov. 2005 season, after a teaser featuring dozens of supercars) welcome to Greenpeace!
A turbo, exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, with a supercharger, air goes in,witchcraft happens and you go faster.
This is the latest S Class. Now available with a very economical: Twin-turbo, Six litre... I don't mean economical do I? That's the wrong word...
I do apologise, we have wasted your evening, there are no good Korean or Malaysian cars.
You know? That's the nineteenth caravan we've destroyed on this programme in 12 months.
If I had to nitpick, and obviously I do.
At this point the Germans are propably rolling around on the floor laughing, So: "Ze tommies have made ein car out of spit und kleenex, zhey will be crushed." (Testing the MG SV prototype)
Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear, I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would. One day, it would pull your head off.
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world
That means, a Range Rover, doing 10,000 miles a year, produces less pollution a day than a cow farting(While discussing about "Methane as a global warming agent")
The only reason anyone bought the old Land Rover Discovery was because they couldn't afford a Range Rover.
As a result, it weighs 2.7 tonnnes - and that makes it heavier than a Rolls-Royce Phantom. It's so heavy, that if you were to load it up with stuff, and then hitch up a trailor to the back; technically, you need an LGV licence.
It's really as useful, as a snooze button on a smoke alarm. (Regarding the adjustable suspension in the Bentley Continental GT)
(Top Gear Bloopers) I've just realised something, it's late...and I'm drunk!
(Top Gear Bloopers) Who has decided to do Nazi Route Marching?
(Top Gear Bloopers)(Car Alarm Goes Off) Would you like to come to Top Gear again? Morons.
(On the Audi R8) Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.
I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
The Ferrari 355 is like a quail's egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts' belly button.
(On the Alfa Romeo Brera) Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heard she's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn't you?
(On the Brera again, talking about a version with a slow 0-60mph time and a big price tag) It's like Cameron Diaz. You know she's a vegetarian, you know she's a commited eco-mentalist... would you say no? That car is like Cameron Diaz, with wheels.
The Caterham may only have 250 bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same.....as a j-cloth.
We start tonight with the highlight of my childhood. It's the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it's full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was like kind of Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.
If this car was a breakfast. It would be cornflakes on toast.
(On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG)It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.
Aston Martin DB9... that's not really a racing car, that's just pornography.
(Ariel Atom) This is driving Nirvana! You can forget anything you've ever driven, anything. There is no car, nothing on four wheels, that is as fast as this.
The most hard core BMW ever made. (M3 CSL)
(about the Ferrari F40) And what I love is that when you're on the over-run, and you take your foot of the throttle, listen!... there are these huge bounces... just dumps great wads of unburnt fuel into the exhaust... FOR FUN!
(test driving a Turbo Bentley through a cloud of rubber smoke) It's like Blenheim Palace on wheels!
(Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster) I would rather be in this than in Keira Knightley.
(On the BMW X3) If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car.
What Overfinch did with the old Range Rover was replace the 4.6 Litre Engine with a 5.7 Litre V8 from a Corvette. And thats fine in a car which weighs nearly 2 tonnes...If your name is BP Esso McShell.
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.
The old DB7, that was just...a Jag in Drag...it was an XJS in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB9) is completely different...
No, no, no. There's no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It's cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful. (referring to Proton Savvy)
I'd rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy; Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation; I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.
You do not just avoid the Suzuki Wagon R. You avoid it like you would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.
(about the Ford GT40) Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that's a question I've never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.
Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.
(On cars at a Max Power show) Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they'll blow up.
What did the Morris Marina compete against?... walking?... the bus?
Deciding which one is worse (the Austin Allegro or Morris Marina), is like deciding which leg you'd rather have amputated.
(about the Ford Escort) It's powered by engines so rough, even Moulinex wouldn't use them.
Whenever I'm suffering from Insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I'm straight off.
Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.
(about the Renault Clio V6) I think the problem is that it's French... It's a surrender monkey.
It costs Volkswagen 200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could propably make a couple of cars for that.
This is for every time I've caught you dawdling at junctions, this is for every time I've caught you doing 4 miles per hour in a motorway. This is PAYBACK TIME!! (Clarkson shouting at a Volvo 340 seconds before it is put through a crusher)
This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying 'Oh good, I've got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'
This pram's turning circle is tighter than Thrifty McThrift's Book of Belt-Tightening for Boys!
(about the Chevrolet Corvette Z06) In many ways then this car is like herpes. Great fun catching it but not so much fun live with every day.
(on the McLaren F1 in his movie, Most Outrageous) I respect it enormously, in the same way I respected my old head master. But we never became friends.
(On a Buick LeSabre) It was rubbish when it was new, it was built by idiots, and it's rubbish now.
(On a Audi RS4 Convertible) The only person who looked good in a 4-seated convertible was Adolf Hitler
(On the evolution of the Golf GTI between MkI and MkIV) I voted for this as the greatest car of the 20th century. Over the years, however, the Golf GTI got bigger, and fatter, and slower. Think of it as Elvis Presley. It started off all athletic and full of vigour, and wound up on the lavatory, an enormous, dribbling hulk.
(About James May) ...Why are you on this program?
(About Jade Goody) A racist, pig-faced waste of blood and organs.
(About Lethal Bizzle) It's acts like that which killed Top of The Pops in the first place, they kept booking acts like.. what's his name? Jizzy tissue.
(To Lewis Hamilton at the NTA Awards) ...And if you see Fernando Alonso again, tell him his eyebrows are too big...
(A cyclist riding past in Oxford) The thing is, around here - Oi! Did you see that? I was damn nearly knocked over by a cyclist!
(About the Chinese) Chinese people have no souls. From his column in 'The Sun' newspaper
(About Drummers) Drummers are a bit like house flies. They're born, they make a noise, then they die. From his column in 'The Sun' newspaper
// be continued